


Amadahy, NC

by euadnes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Insomnia, Sam Winchester-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 02:02:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13730766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/euadnes/pseuds/euadnes
Summary: It's been 7 days and 6 hours since the wall in Sam's head crumbled. He'd almost forgotten what a late night thunderstorm was like.





	Amadahy, NC

**Author's Note:**

> Severe weather season is upon us and it inspired me to edit this piece I wrote and ignored for several years so don't judge me on the writing for I tried my best.

Seven days after he was reunited with his soul, Sam awoke to the sound of rain. He laid on his back, watching the reflection of running water on the windows play out on the shadowy ceiling, listening as it pounded on the doors and walls, demanding his attention.

Sam glanced over at his brother, still fast asleep. Of course Dean could sleep through the rain. He probably slept through dozens of spring storms with his soulless brother in the next bed, who never slept and never listened. Never cared. Why would he? The soulless version of him didn’t remember the Pit.

Finally Sam rolled out from beneath the covers, stretching his long legs and ignoring the damp chill.

The rain called to him.

He padded silently in sleep socked feet to the sliding glass door that led to the screened in patio outside their hotel room. Sam stood there for several seconds, bed warm fingertips leaving humid smudges on the glass at his chest level. A step to the right and a flip of a lock and the door was sliding open. 

The midnight air was slightly chilled and more refreshing than Sam could've ever dreamed. Like taking a dive in a crystalline blue pool on a stifling July afternoon. Sam took in a deep breath, relishing in the cool air that expanded in his lungs and seemed to settle with shiver in his lower back. As he stood watching and listening, a deep and terrible ache settled in his gut. The longing pulled him forward and in three dream-like strides he was at the edge of the patio, face millimeters away from the screen. Beyond the patio, thunder rumbled gently in the distance and the trees rustled and swayed with the rain and wind, their angry silhouettes cast against the pale indigo sky.

The constant breeze blew the rain through the screen, creating a chilled mist that coated Sam's face and bare arms and raising goose bumps. He closed his eyes, listening, feeling and smelling the rain he'd never thought he'd experience again. And not just the rain, but the overwhelming aliveness of it all. The violence in the air and the chaos seizing the earth and at the center of it all, tranquility. Acceptance. It was the most at peace Sam had felt since waking up in Bobby's panic room. Since before Stull cemetery. A moment so impossibly far back for him to recall yet so recent for everyone else. The thought made him feel painfully lonely.

He was so focused on his thoughts, Sam never heard the slight groan or thudding footfalls behind him. So lost in the sensations he didn't even feel his brother's abrupt presence or his wary gaze studying the younger man's relaxed features. He also missed the look of pity that briefly crossed Dean's face.

But when Dean spoke, Sam heard him clear as a bell. He jumped at the sound of his name and twisted his head around so quick he felt lightheaded. 

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"It's freaking cold, man."

Sam turned back around as his brother spoke. When he didn't answer, Dean sighed loudly and came to stand next to him, arms folded across his t-shirt clad chest. 

When he spoke next, it was in the softer tone more reserved for brittle moments like this. 

"Sammy?"

Sam blinked, but kept his gaze on the turmoil outside. As a testament of their close relationship, Sam could imagine the look on his brother's face just by the tone of his voice. Right now, Dean sounded worried but if Sam were to look at him, Dean show it, or at the very least let Sam see it. He would just look slightly intrigued: mouth partially opened, eyebrows pressed together and raised an inch. 

Sam looked sideways and met his brother's eyes. He couldn't help it, he laughed.

Now Dean did look more worried, eyebrows slowly coming together and lips pursing in a way that was almost so like their Dad, Sam found himself suddenly more sad than amused.

"What?" Dean asked, mock offended now that Sam had stopped laughing. 

Sam shook his head. "You wouldn't like it."

Dean made a 'hmph' noise and turned towards the screen as if to see what his brother was laughing at out in the downpour. 

"Do you see him?"

Sam almost flinched. He wasn't trying to think about the Devil in his head right now. "No, I think he's scared of thunder actually," he joked.

Silence. Then, again with that quiet gentleness, "Are you alright?"

It was Sam's turn to sigh, only because he had been anticipating the question. Except he didn't need to lie this time. "I'm fine." He nodded at the screen, as if realizing the truth just now. "More than fine actually." He looked back at the trees as more mist ghosted over his screen. In his peripheral Dean was nodding too and looking down at his own raised flesh on his arms. Sam knew he was contemplating going back inside or not. To get back into a warm bed or stand in the chilled rain with his half sane little brother. He knew what sounded better to his brother, yet Dean stayed where he was. They stood together in the dark for ever how long, just listening, not talking. Though Sam could tell Dean was itching to say something, that he was still worried for him. Sam leaned and Dean's firm stance caught him and they stood with arms pressed together, absorbing each other's warmth. White blue light danced and disappeared through the latticework of branches of the trees surrounding the property. Again that numbing awareness, the peace in the midst of chaos. 

"I've just…I never realized how much I missed this. The rain, the smell of rain, the feeling of it all…" his voice trailed off. A sudden burst of thunder and lightning made them both jump. 

Dean laughed, quiet and humble. "Even that?"

Sam grinned and when he spoke, he made sure Dean could hear it in his voice. "Yes, even that."


End file.
